Welcome. Please, come in. Would you mind taking off your shoes? My toddler is always eating things off the floor, thanks. Have a seat. Would you like a beer? Maybe wine? Just water? Fine, that’s boring, but okay.
Today I was out for a walk with the kid and the dog (who will be known as Jerkface going forward). Jerkface is terrible on a leash. And the kid decided she didn’t want to ride in the stroller anymore (because that’s such hard work?). So, because I’m a goodish mom and don’t let my 20 month old run wild in the streets, one arm was ripped off as jerkface tried to “say hi” to everyone who passed while the other was held back by a toddler hand wrapped around my finger, attached to a toddler with much shorter legs than my own. In other words, it took all my strength not to let Jerkface pull me forward, thus giving the kid a hard and unfortunate introduction to the pavement.
All’s well that ends well and no one got hurt. Except maybe my pride. A woman running by commented that it sure looked like I had my hands full. No shit.
I’m not going to tell you that this is a perfect metaphor for my entire life. Even though it is. Trying to keep some things from getting out of control and others safe, all while maintaining the course and not falling to pieces myself. I’m just telling you that this was my afternoon. There were also mosquitoes. Which make everything 100% worse, always.
So that’s me. How was your day?
Oh, by the way, I’m in editing mode for my first novel (holy shit). Click here or sign up on the left and I’ll let you know when as things get closer to the ever elusive LAUNCH DATE. I swear I’ll only email you when something is actually happening. Because there is too much email in this world.